Time Slows

I'm finding time moving much faster than it used to. Perhaps a combination of cumulative sleep deprivation, new absorbing interest and mother nature's way of protecting us from cabin fever. In the last 10 days I've been out of the house a grand total of 2 times. Once to the grocery store in car and once to the corner store walking to buy eggs. Today Rafa made lunch in what seemed like 5 minutes, although I know that rice, physically can't cook that fast. I'm told that this new time space continuum is a symptom of parenthood in general - inescapable from now till they go to college. Doesn't seem fair really.

Dear Diego – you are one week old today. It sometimes feels like you have always been here and other times I look at you with complete surprise. You have changed and grown so much already. Together we have learned to breastfeed, a lightning fast diaper change with almost no crying and one handed food preparation. You have learned that when you spread out your arm it is not going to disappear but is, in fact, attached to your body. You have learned to trust your father and I and have gifted us with your patience. You rarely cry when you wake up, waiting to be noticed and held. We have loved this week, being with you and learning about who you are. You are even sleeping through much of the night. I don’t know how we got to be so lucky, but thank you for choosing us.

Mom

The Birth Story

This is for all of you who are interested in the 'gory' details. For those of you who want the summarized version is goes like this: it was long, it was worth it, I appreciated the epidural when it came. I feel like I had two birth experiences in one because I did a lot of natural childbirth followed by a very positive 'medical' birth.

The details:


Thursday. The first contractions begin - very mild but regular. I was hopeful. Isaac and Sue were in Ottawa getting Sue's residency paperwork. We had a chat on the phone, they were sad that they might miss the action but excited about their interview the coming day. One of the other pieces of exciting news we've had this week is that my sister-in-law, Sue, is now a Canadian resident.

Friday - night. I slept poorly, but was able to sleep through contractions - sometimes an hour at a time.

Friday - day. I woke up with continued regular but mild contractions. I called the midwife to see if I should still go to my ultrasound. She said yes, if nothing does begin at least we know that you and the baby are OK and if you don't go today you will have to go Monday. The ultra sound was a sucess. Rafa decided not to go to work (which was great). We scored 8/8 which meant that the baby was in a good position and in good physical state. We went from the hospital to the midwives clinic. She did an internal exam and my cervix was closed but getting softer. She said she wouldn't be surprised if I gave birth in the night or tomorrow. She also wouldn't be suprised if it was Monday. Diego proved very latino - taking as much time as he could. Rafa and I went home to distract ourselves. We went out for lunch. I had a nap. We watched a movie and Rafa timed contractions. There was a definate pattern but it wasn't getting any more frequent. This timing proved a mistake. I'll take the midwives advice next time - take some gravol, go to sleep and ignore the whole thing.

Friday - night. Contractions continue fairly mild but regular. I was still sleeping through several contractions at a time. They continue to come regularly however. I spoke with Isaac and Sue and told them that there might be exciting movement tomorrow. This proved over enthusiastic.

Saturday - afternoon. Contractions are regular and getting stronger. I called Cristy - the doula - just to let her know what was happening. Isaac and Sue came, went for a skate. Mom continues cooking and being a wonderful support. We took a walk. I could have walked through contractions but prefered to stop and lean on Rafa. He commented that the neighbors probubly thought I was drunk or high - leaning on him as I was. We had a good laugh and got some air.

Saturday - 8:00pm Contractions are coming regularly at around 8 minuites and getting stronger. I can't walk through them anymore so we called the doula. She came and set us up for the night. She got Rafa timing - and told him to be awake and vigilant. I was able to sleep between contractions but woke up for each one. Rafa was amazing - he was with me through every contraction - he was calm - he did all the timing and I knew that if the contractions suddenly started gettting close together he'd let me know. This meant I could sleep between. It also meant that he didn't sleep between. By the end he'd had less sleep than me. What a trouper!!!

Sunday - 5:00am After a very long night I got in the bath and Rafa called the midwife and the doubla. They both came - the midwife did a bath revision (she said that was actually easier for her than out of the bath - who knew?) I was still one centimeter but the cervix was well effaced and she was confident that things would happen today. I told her - if they didn't we had to do something because I was not going to make it though another night. Rafa and I chatted and I told him - "I can make it to about 1:00 this morning, then I don't know". Maybe with this conversation I set myself up for a 'fall' at 1:00 or maybe I just know myself. Either way it worked out. The doula stayed for a while and coached me with my breathing a little. This proved very important - I had been really pushing the breathing during the night - and was getting tired out. I suspect this 'over breathing' led to the later, rather debilitating, back pain. I'll know better next time. Christy left around 11:30 - to have lunch. With the parting words - it's still early. I continued with the day - supported by Sue and Rafa. Around 2:00 I called the midwife on call (Lena had gone home to sleep) and she told me to relax - that what I was experiencing was very common in early labor. Early labor!!! This was not was what I wanted to hear. How could I be still in early labor! I had a good cry - a nice bath - a chat with Rafa. I mourned my two days of early labor - which were not early labor - and mentalized myself to continue. Rafa and I also had the conversation about medical intervention, deciding that if we need it we'll take it. We are not going to do another whole night like last one. This helped with later decision making.

Sunday - 4:00pm We called the midwife and the doubla. We were now having contractions every 4-6 minutes, lasting at least one minute. Hopes are rising for things to happen soon. The midwife arrived - I was still at one centimeter but she did a stretch and sweep and got me up to two centimeters. She also hooked me up to the breastpump and that helped. By the time the midwife left to get some food were were busy watching a movie - breathing through contractions and hoping for more action - and soon!

Sunday - 6:45pm We called the midwife. Contractions were coming on strong and steady by this point. She did a quick revision. We were now in active labor (finally!!!!) and head off to the hospital. Mom and Isaac stayed behind to hold down the fort and I took Rafa, Sue and Cristy as labor support. Sue proved a natural, Cristy was a fountain of ideas and Rafa a rock. I couldn't have made it through the night without them.

Sunday - 7:30pm We arrived in the hospital. It was nice to arrive to the delivery room - already waiting for us, thanks to the midwife. We had more space here than we did at home and it felt like we were really ready to work. Crisy, Sue and Rafa were a constant support. Through the worst contractions they stood on three sides of me and helped me though. By the end the midwife took the back and I was boxed in with supportive hands. It was pretty magical really, painful - however you forget that part don't you - but magical.

Sunday - 11:00pm I was in the shower and started feeling the contractions continuous, like there was no break. The midwife hooked me up to the monitor so that she could show me the pattern. I tried to come to grips with the fact that there in fact breaks. I'd given up on the gas by then, it just made me feel more tired. We tried the TENs unit - we tried sterile water injections - they were all distracting but I still didn't have enough energy to get through. I was around 6cm dilated by this time and was looking at at least another 2 hours of work and up to 4.

Monday - 12:30am We decided for the epidural. By this point I was so tired physically that I couldn't move. Once you can't move it is very difficult to deal with contractions - especially when you can't stand to be lying down for them. What came next was pure survival, I was surrounded by support, when most everyone had to leave Christy stayed and kept me breathing - by sheer force of will sometimes. Turns out we lucked out and the woman who did the epidural was one of the best in the hospital, once all the necessary monitoring and questions were done she got the actual IV in in less than two minutes. I am told this process can take up to an hour. I felt the effects in about 10 minutes and by 20 it was perfect.

Monday - 1:30am The epidural took effect - I will never forget the look of the clock as it reaches 1:30 - a magic hour. Rafa and Sue came back into the room - I gave them a big smile and a thumbs up. I have never seen Rafa so relieved in my life. He had been through A LOT and deserved the rest as much as I. The next two hours were spent resting, enjoying my last bit of pregnancy. The epidural left me still able to feel the baby kicking but took away all the pain in the contractions. Really magical.

Monday - 4:30am Diego was born after only 9 pushes. I was originally sent one nurse to help be begin pushing but she called for the rest of the team almost immediately. Turns out that I had been fully dilated for a while (I had suspected but I was so happy lying quietly and relaxing that I didn't say anything to anyone) and Diego had pushed himself down the birth canal and the head was already crowning. He went straight to the pediatricians (there had been some macomium in the fluid) was cleaned and peed on everyone, much to Rafa's delight. The midwife made sure Rafa got his hands on the baby as soon as possible who brought him over to me. Having a midwife, even with a medical birth, humanized the process so much. It was great having someone watching out for the 'feeling' details and not just the medical ones. Rafa laid the baby on my chest and he kept pushing. He pushed himself right from one side of my chest to the other. I guess he hadn't figured out that he was out yet. Diego latched on and had a little suck - we had a little cuddle. It was a little bit awkward with the intravenous in (I was also be 'attended to' by the doctor 'down there') but we figured it out. Mom and Isaac came to pick up Sue and the nurses let them in to say hello and take a peek.

Monday - 7:30am We left the delivery room for a private room on the maternity floor. We rested, we were poked and prodded by a series of very helpful nurses and students. We gave Diego his first bath. Mom, Isaac and Sue came by to visit, brought food and took away things we didn't need anymore.

Monday - 5:30pm We left the hospital to go home and rest. Mom was there, food was cooked, we slept really well with only one interruption, our fingers are crossed for this sort of night to continue.

Final count (for bragging rights) - 1.5 days of 'false' labor, 23 hours of 'pre-labor', 5 hours of 'active' labor, 4 hours of epidural.

Neighborhood Walk

Just two days overdue and beginning to feel what is known as "the desperation". I am continuing to keep busy and trying to convince Rafa to go out to see Twilight tonight. We also took a nice neighborhood walk and I got to try out my new camera some more. Here are some of the results of that.
Our neighbor's dog - Sadie

I also found this wonderful link while "important time invested" cruising the internet. http://www.etsy.com/color.php - Search Etsy using colors. Fun!

This week's projects..

Rafa wants a dishwasher... that means I get to redesign the kitchen and buy more dishes and he can't complain! So I did just that. Over the last two days I cut a hole in our cabinets, reinforced said hole, and installed some wall shelves to make up for all the missing space. Tomorrow the shelves are coming back down to be sanded and stained (barring a trip to the hospital, in which case I suppose the sanding and staining will be done in about two years) but the space is ready for its new addition. A wonderful friend with a truck is helping us bring home the dishwasher tomorrow from Sears and the plumber has been called to come and hook it up. I wondered about doing this kind of work the day before my due date (the associates at Home Depot were VERY impressed that I was out shopping and building so close) but then I remembered that this world is full of very fat plumbers doing what I have been, without nearly the same flexibility. It was fine - I went slow and took breaks - and it was fabulous distraction. Plus I was hoping, a little, that the squishing, loud noises and unpleasant smells might convince Junior that he didn't want to be in my belly anymore, so dependent on what I do, but to exercise his independence... no go yet. In other distractions, tomorrow I am going out to get my hair done, I have a midwives appointment, and, as I said, the dishwasher is arriving. Plus, my sister-in-law Sue is here using the sewing room and free consultation. I'm hoping that the books that I ordered from the library will arrive tomorrow. I think I'm almost ready for more 'sitting down' kinds of distractions.

The First Day

I am officially on maternity leave as of today. I have taken a few pictures to commemorate this moment. The first one I like to call: 'ha ha!"The next one is titled: "vacation". You have to allow me my little bit of gloating - I am perfectly aware that the end of all this lovely leisure is nigh.. I wonder, is that how you spell nigh?


In other news I also took a few moments to take a lovely picture of my lovely living room before it is covered in toys and spit up.

A few things to notice: the covered pillows and the lamp - both on this weeks list and now crossed off!

The crazy quilt, finished the past November.

The striped chair which I recovered in September. It's a lazy boy!

The cover for the futon, covered stool, matching curtains and seat cushions - also by me. Actually, now that I think about it, I've had my hands on most everything in this room.

One last outstanding project (I always say that and then another one comes along) is the lamp. My hope is that the hanging lamp will one day look like this one:
and so if anyone has a stash of old slides or you see some at a yard sale, put them aside for me.

First of Many

3:50a.m. and I am sitting in front of my nice gas fireplace making lists and browsing the internet. Yes, the first of many sleep interrupted nights. (Well, actually, not the first but the title sounds better that way. I'm making lists and even crossing some things off lists, that seems to help. Rafa wonders "why can't you sleep?" I figure it's the bodies way of getting you ready for what's to come. I've taken the policy in the last two weeks of just getting up, doing something till I'm tired, and then going back to bed. Lying there wondering why I can't sleep really doesn't seem to help. I continue to feel great with 4 days to go before the due date. I was heavy and cranky yesterday but I went to the gym today and that has helped a lot. Rafa has decided that we need a dishwasher, so after the plumbers approval of our space today, we went out and bought one. As a result I have a few more things on my list. (Actually installing the dishwasher we are leaving to the professionals - don't worry - that I know I can't do 39 weeks pregnant) Currently outstanding: make a lamp, build a printer stand, fix wall in kitchen (this is just a little plaster patch, smaller than it sounds), put up hanging shelves. All easy 'one dayers' and 4 days to go... perfect.